It is the strangest thing to go back to where you were raised.  Anyone else ever feel that?  It’s as if you have lived multiple lives, and although you are “you” it feels as if that you isn’t really this you at all.  But being here in New Mexico, it feels that Maine is another world away, even though Maine truly is my life right now. Hmmm. ‘Scuse me while I sort my thoughts!

Anyway, the flights to the land of my birth were…amazing.  Not a hitch, not a delay, and the boys were absolutely, positively fantastic; until we were driving from Lubbock to Clovis and they decided to just let loose.  Their poor Uncle Glenn, driving home amidst a cacophony of squalling toddlers. A christening of sorts.

It’s Wednesday morning, and so far I’m incredibly glad we came.  There is always a sense of trepidation in coming home, especially with kiddos…but seeing family has been wonderful!  No one from this side of the country had met Jack, so everyone is delighting is spending time with the great-grandkids. The boys have also experienced a wealth of new things; I can’t wait to post some pictures!  First time discovering dirt (seriously…they know all about beach sand and mud, but not so much about dusty dirt), first time flying a kite.  

Well, it’s coffee time. And then we are headed to the zoo (another first). I can’t wait to report about that one! Have a good week, friends.

Seriously…I am so tempted to say this to my sweet Jack, on a DAILY basis:

• Why of COURSE you can grab the steak knives from the dishwasher and run willy nilly all over the kitchen. What a fun thing to do!
• Dancing on the table? Great exercise!
• Well, since it’s not bathtime yet, I’d be delighted if you’d entertain yourself by splashing in the toilet.
• Licking daddy’s deodorant again? Super breath freshener, isn’t it?!
• You can absolutely open the woodstove door and stoke the fireplace by yourself. That is SUCH a help to mommy.
• Dashing into the street? Playing chicken with cars is fun!

Ack! He is determined to get into trouble!

Speaking of highly active children, anyone have ideas for entertaining a 1 and 3 year old on an airplane? I’d welcome suggestions!

Just have to jot these down before I forget! Ry was full of funny stuff yesterday and I’m already struggling to remember. So here goes:

One of my favorite snacks is a spoonful of peanut butter with a sprinkling of dark chocolate chips. Ry has a spoonful with me occasionally, but most of the time I just give him one chocolate chip on top. Yesterday I was feeling generous and gave him three. He looked at the spoon and exclaimed “That’s like a thousand chocolate chips!”

Sitting on the kitchen floor with an apple slice; “I have an idea! I will have a picnic by myself!”

“I’m a kid so I can go ’round and ’round in circles!”

“Momma, can I go to Grammy’s today?” (Nope, says I). “Ok. I will drive myself to Grammy’s house in momma and daddy’s car, and you can chase me in Nonnie and Papa’s car”.

……………………………………………………………………………………….

Grandma M took both boys today, so mom and I dropped dad off at work and took off to Bangor in order to stave off the stir-crazies. Our day involved a Dunkin Donuts French Vanilla coffee, a Cinammon Dolce Latte at Starbucks, and a plain ol’ Seattle’s Best at Borders. Hehe. I’m fully dehydrated so I’m trying to catch up with my water consumption this evening. (Keep in mind each stop was only one coffee shared between the two of us-we aren’t that addicted). We window shopped quite a bit and enjoyed a fun girlie day together. I’m so glad we decided to get out, because another storm is upon us meaning we’ll probably be socked in for a few days again. Highly likely that the guys will have another snow day tomorrow, leading me to believe that they might go to school clear through summer break…

Well, time to hit the hay. I have a good book to delve into, and ya know there isn’t much better than ending the day in a warm bed with a good read!

I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to explaining what I have to explain, so ’scuse me if this is all a jumble. But here we go…

I am a stay at home mom. Always have wanted to be one, and am so blessed that I am currently able to live my life-long dream! And yet, after being said mom for nigh on 3 years, I have realized that a part of me wants something else that is separate from my kids; something that I can be proud of. I’ve always been a little crafty, and I decided to start my fabric business on Etsy as an outlet, which has led to the soon-to-open actual hand-made Etsy store. Unfortunately this business won’t be all in the name of “fun”, but also in the name of necessity, because we desperately need a little more cash-flow. Not for “fun things”, not for “wants”, but for really important things, like actually moving out of my parent’s house and being able to provide for ourselves. My fantastic husband excels at his job, but he is a teacher. And teachers, as most of you hopefully realize, don’t get paid what they are well-worth!

I’ve been pretty excited about my new venture, but to the detriment of my kids. I hate to have to admit that. I don’t neglect them by any means, but this business involves quite a bit of computer time, so very often my kids are plugged in, too. Ryan is a 3 year old computer genius, and that breaks my heart! Sure, he spends time “painting” in the paint program, and watching family videos, and typing away (not bad things), but I don’t want that to consume him. Good grief, I’m the momma who was never going to let her kids watch tv, much less play on the computer!

Last night we were on the floor playing with the kids, which we do often, but not enough. They were in absolute fits of giggles. And I want more fits of giggles, more often. So I made a decision.

This morning, I allowed Ry a little time on the computer, and let he and Jack watch one Blue’s Clue’s episode. Then we played. We played hard! When they were ok playing by themselves, I picked up the house a bit and finished 3 loads of laundry. I was on the computer before they woke up for a brief time this morning. Now they are down for their naps, and I feel so good. I feel like I put my all into them; not into my little business. And I’m praying that because I’m changing my way of doing things, God will actually bless the time that I am able to work and allow me to get quite a bit accomplished. We’ll see how it goes, but I am a bit excited! I know things won’t be perfect, and we may have an occasional morning filled with kiddie shows. But no more frantic-trying-to-get-my-things-done attitude. And you know what? The guilt is gone. That feels good.

Sometimes it’s an immediate yes, sometimes a no, sometimes a wait-and-see. We are case in points for all 3 scenarios, and appreciative for it! We waited 2 years for Erick’s dream job (which was a definite “wait” and “follow me in a direction you never imagined”) and we are still in the waiting stage for a house. However, if God answers our house prayers like he answered the job prayer-we are in for a blessing and a half! I could go on an on in the whole answered-prayer realm of our lives.

All that said, I just wanted to share a great answer we received today. The boys are sick. Sicker than sick. Flat out miserable. Ry’s going on a week, and for the past 4 days it’s been painful torture to try to get him to eat and drink. Try reasoning with a 3 year old! That’s fodder for a few blogs itself…

Today (Wednesday) is my usual get together at a friend’s house for a ladies prayer group. Obviously I couldn’t make it today, so I called and asked for prayers for the boys. I mentioned that Ry hadn’t had any food to speak of for quite a while. The call was around 9 o’clock. Awhile later, Ryan perked right up and asked for oatmeal. And ate THREE bowls, back to back. WOW! I took a peek at the clock and realized that it completely coincided with the time that my dear friends were in the prayer stage of the meeting. How’s that for an immediate yes? I love that God decided to answer in this particular way today. He is faithful, friends.

I LOVE pomegranates, and although I might be the only one that doesn’t know this, I thought I’d pass it along just in case.

My only argument with the delightful pom is the incredible mess it makes. Seeds flying here, juice squirting there…it’s such a hassle. I (and everything around me) tends to end up speckled red. However, I caught a tip on the Early Show before Christmas, and it just made a world of difference!

Immerse your pomegranate in a decent sized bowl of water and score it with a knife, then rip right into her. You can pluck the seeds right out with your fingers-they end up at the bottom of the bowl, and the white stuff (I’m not food savvy enough to know what it is called) floats to the top. Voila! Scoop and toss the floaties, drain the water and seeds in a colander, and you are good to go! Took me a tenth of the time this afternoon, and absolutely no mess.

If you have youngin’s, call them red candies and (if you are lucky) they’ll help gobble them up. My youngest is crazy about them; my oldest won’t touch them with a ten foot pole. *Sigh* 50% success isn’t too bad, though.

I don’t know about you, but if I promise myself that big changes must be undertaken…they won’t be. Therefore I’ve never been one for the infamous New Years Resolution. I’d much rather ease into something than to resolve that this is the way it is going to be. Would you care to be privy to my former lofty goals? Most (well, all) involve mothering. While not necessarily NYR’s, I was adamant about these decisions. And I’ve learned that it’s ok not to be.

I was never…going to use disposable diapers. They’re bad for the environment! They are bad for my babies skin! They are…so much easier. Kudos to you cloth diapering mommas. Seriously. I wish I had it in me.

I was never…going to let my children watch television. Let’s just say thank you, maker of Baby Einstein, for that 30 minutes of delightful entertainment that allows me to wash dishes. Or sweep. Or accomplish a multitude of daily chores. I am forever indebted.

I was never…going to buy my kids toys with batteries included. Heck, they delight me half the time! And while my dear brother drove me to distraction with all of his boy noise when we were younger, I’ve learned that noise very often equals happy children, which very often equals a happy mother.

I was never…going to confuse my children by being consistent one minute and inconsistent the next. Consistency is key, they say! While they are right, I don’t believe a slip up every now is out of the question. Sometimes I’m just too tired. Sometimes I lay in bed at night and pray that I haven’t screwed up my kids for life. But I don’t think I have.

I was never…going to feed my children sugar. Ha! I don’t overdo it, but you have to have a little fun.

I suppose my motto is moderation. I would love to be one of the cloth diapering, no tv allowed, completely consistent, healthy-to-a-fault mothers. And I really think moms like that are amazing. I just flat out don’t have it in me at this point in my life, but despite it all, I think my kids are turning out alright.

Things that could use a little more help this coming year? Again, not turning these into full blown, do or die decisions, but here we go:

• A little more organization and a little less wasted time to my day.
• Finding a few more ways to be a “servant” to my family. Doing simple things that make them happy.
• Partaking in some kind of muscle building, bone strengthening exercise. *Sigh*…osteoporosis runs in my family, and you know about the whole prevention thing being better than the fixing thing.

Well, I know I have more desires rattling around in my brain, but let’s not get overwhelmed, here!

Good luck on your goals, whatever they may be. But don’t be too hard on yourself.